omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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