I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
