My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
