Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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