so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
