Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found the puke drawer
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize