Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
