I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You work out of a Hotel?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
