Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
