The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
