Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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