Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize