I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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