Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
