Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
No subtext here. People are naked.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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