The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize