Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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