i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
4 words: hood of his car
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
