I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
