i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
