So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
