No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
