id be glad to
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
