well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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