David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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