no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
