i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
3pm strippers are depressing
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
