hotel room ftw
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
