Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
