i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
