If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
