I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
