her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize
