Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i would punch a child for taco bell
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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