You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
