your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
