I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
The adults are the big ones right?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
