I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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