i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
