Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
