so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
