Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
