she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
