So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
