you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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