i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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