Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
