I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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