i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
never play flip cup with pint glasses
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
