So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize