I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
