im drinking this country out of the recession.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
