Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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