why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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