he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
