He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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