Pants 0. Shit 1.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
