Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was

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  (248): he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was http://tfl.nu/zwm2
  Replies (51) Good night (988) Bad night (8809)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"

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  (920): i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism" http://tfl.nu/6eew
  Replies (13) Good night (4343) Bad night (906) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.

  (352): View more from Florida

  I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.

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  (970): The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency. (352): I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial. http://tfl.nu/wg41
  Replies (28) Good night (7197) Bad night (652)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.

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  (724): I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard. http://tfl.nu/gkmc
  Replies (62) Good night (9512) Bad night (1387) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China

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  (617): Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China http://tfl.nu/t41x
  Replies (19) Good night (4535) Bad night (954) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.

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  (336): They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up. http://tfl.nu/5b65
  Replies (5) Good night (4062) Bad night (634) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had

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  (717): They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had http://tfl.nu/qmkc
  Replies (46) Good night (4710) Bad night (1570) Order T-Shirt
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  (661): View more from California

  When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience

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  (661): When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience http://tfl.nu/gidk
  Replies (17) Good night (741) Bad night (4927) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.

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  (+44): 24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good. http://tfl.nu/55h0
  Replies (13) Good night (6961) Bad night (671) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?

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  (706): He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom? http://tfl.nu/9suz
  Replies (31) Good night (1347) Bad night (4692) Order T-Shirt
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?

  (1-309): View more from Illinois

  I decided to mark my territory.

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  (309): Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket? (1-309): I decided to mark my territory. http://tfl.nu/6hzp
  Replies (2) Good night (704) Bad night (912) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.

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  (949): he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless. http://tfl.nu/m9y7
  Replies (1) Good night (345) Bad night (671) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me

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  (203): I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me http://tfl.nu/e1ma
  Replies (5) Good night (999) Bad night (432) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.

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  (503): Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson. http://tfl.nu/op2p
  Replies (4) Good night (227) Bad night (373) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success

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  (203): I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success http://tfl.nu/5jtv
  Replies (0) Good night (510) Bad night (195) Order T-Shirt

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