You're so nebulous sometimes
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.