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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i'm going to rape that little man

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  omg not your brother

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.

  (410): View more from Maryland

  and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?

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• (650): View more from California

  she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (716): View more from New York

  I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.

  Fav 22 5721 1097

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.

  Fav 4 603 849

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I am one hundred percent down for that

  Fav 3 663 502

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"

  (1-931): View more from Tennessee

  I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him

  Fav 0 797 503

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• (281): View more from Texas

  I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.

  Fav 2 257 158

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• (210): View more from Texas

  Why are you drunk at the library?

  (1-210): View more from Texas

  Why not?

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