Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
There r osticjed everywhere
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds