So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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