Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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