i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
